“The reason why you want anything is because of the feeling you think it will give you.”
- Tonya Leigh
Take a few seconds to check in with yourself: What do you want right now?
It does not have to be something big- it can even be as small as a cup of coffee, or a 15 minute breather.
Now ask yourself- If you get that, what feeling will it bring in you? What is the emotion you want to experience through your desire?
The first answer that pops into your mind may be the obvious one. Then simply ask, “What will having this/getting this bring me?” Asking this a few times can help you understand your desire at the deepest level. For e.g. If you feel like having a cup of coffee, asking what feeling that will bring to you may provide the answer “a break/boost in energy”. Going through the next few levels, you may ultimately find that you are looking for “relaxation/fulfilment”.
These feelings/emotional states that you are ultimately reaching for are called core internal states.They include safety, peace, belonging, trust, openness, connection, fulfillment, love, fun, bliss, etc. They are what we all crave at the deepest level and motivate most of our actions, whether we know it or not.
When we do not know what we actually want through doing something, we may make choices that do not even match the desire, let alone fulfill it. Continuing with the previous example, we may fill ourselves with coffee to the point of feeling jittery, when we actually want to relax! Is it surprising then that we sometimes wonder why we feel like something is missing, despite ‘doing’ so much?
Today, Nandhini and I invite you to explore this for yourself- You can even start with the need you came up with at the beginning. Ask yourself again- what do you desire through it? Once you come up with an answer which feels final, try taking an action that will satisfy that core need and see what happens!
Happy Exploring!
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